


said to be

by racingshadows



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Exy (All For The Game), Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, character retrospection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:02:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26462368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/racingshadows/pseuds/racingshadows
Summary: It all starts, like any other cliche love story, with a kiss. Except it is not cliche. Except it is not a love story. Because Andrew Minyard does not do love stories, especially not with Neil Josten.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 12
Kudos: 183
Collections: AFTG Exchange Fall 2020, Andreil





	said to be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BelovedPoison](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BelovedPoison/gifts).



> i swear i started it off with some kind of humor, i had no idea how i got a little bit of hurt/comfort written here. i do hope you enjoy this. happy reading!

It all starts, like any other cliche love story, with a kiss. Except it is not cliche. Except it is not a love story. Because Andrew Minyard does not do _love stories_ , especially not with Neil Josten.

Neil stares at him, mouth open slightly, red forming on his cheeks, all the way to his ears and neck. Hell. It is a sight to see because Neil is pretty.

Andrew clenches his fist as he resists the urge to kiss him again.

“... You like me.”

Andrew closes his eyes and counts to three. “I hate you.” He just wants Neil to get out of his car already. “And didn’t you say yes when I asked if I could kiss you.”

“I thought it was… friends thing. Bro thing.”

“... Neil. I don’t kiss my homies.”

“Well that’s on you and your toxic masculinity. I definitely kiss my homies.”

“... On lips?” 

Neil thinks about it. “On forehead and cheeks, mostly.” He continues, “It’s been a while since I’ve been kissed… on the lips.”

“I’m not your first?” Andrew asks as he is clearly not disappointed. He is not. 

“No, but it happened a long time ago when I was in middle school, probably? I couldn’t remember.” Neil replies. “So… what are we going to do now?”

“Nothing.” Andrew says. “We’ll just move on with our lives.”

Neil sighs, crossing his arms. “I should’ve said you were my first kiss, that would make you take the responsibility.”

Andrew rolls his eyes. “We’ll see. Now why don’t you get out of my car? Your roommate’s here has been peeking from the window.”

Neil laughs, but he glances up, probably imagining Kevin really _watches_ them and wonders what Neil takes so long. He turns back to Andrew. “Another kiss? A goodbye kiss? A see-you-tomorrow kiss?”

“Shut up, Josten.” _And don’t look too hopeful_ , is what Andrew wants to say. But instead, he pulls Neil closer for another kiss.

*

And another.

*

Andrew tries not to think much about it, except he is incapable of doing it, and keeps thinking how soft and warm Neil’s lips are, in the darkness of his room, silent and safe under the covers.

The feeling is not something new. It is familiar; a deep ache of yearning to be physically close with someone. Andrew does not touch people. They also do not touch him. But he just wants Neil to stay close to him, he wants to know what Neil’s doing, watches and listens to him. He wants to hear about Neil’s day. Maybe it is interesting, maybe it is not. But Andrew never finds anything boring whenever he is with Neil.

He rubs his face with both of his hands. 

He is not stupid; the feeling’s mutual.

Then, what should he do now?

He grabs his phone and texts Neil, _I’ll give you a ride for work tomorrow._

The reply comes immediate. _Nice. What’s the occasion, boyfriend?_

_I am not your boyfriend._

_Sure, said someone who would keep kissing me if it were not me telling my roommate might be worried._

_I’m blocking your number._

_Sure, you won’t need my number anyway._

Asshole.

*

Andrew wants some sweet iced coffee. He _needs_ it, he needs his daily dose of sugary saccharine, overly sweet that makes people vomit when they take a sip of his drink. They should have never done that.

“One of these days, Andrew, you’re gonna get diabetes.” is what Nicky had told him. And did Andrew ever listen to his cousin? No.

So. Yeah. He _needs_ his overly sweet iced coffee with whipped cream on top. He needs it. So that is why he is going to the coffeeshop, _Racquet_. He needs the coffee, he doesn’t come there to meet Neil. No, he doesn’t want to see Neil. Who the hell is Neil Josten?

Except.

His heart immediately betrays him by beating _too fast_ when he stands outside, and catches the sight of Neil Josten behind the counter, in front of the cashier machine, chatting with the customers. 

Sometimes Andrew wonders why all of these stupid gay pining and yearnings are happening to him in _college_. Why couldn’t he have it in, like, high school, probably.

Oh, right, he was in juvie that time. Yep. Totally forgot about his past for one second.

He takes a deep breath, before finally pushing the door open and slides inside, standing in the queue. Much to his (not so) delight, it doesn’t take long. Matt is in charge of making the drinks and he works very quick, as if he owns the place. 

There is only one person in front of Andrew, and he’s still talking to Neil, even though Andrew has seen Neil handing the change, but the person ignores him. He continues saying, “... you’re a Math major, right? I saw you in one of the classes. If you don’t mind, what time does your shift end? Maybe we can — “

Andrew taps his shoulder. “Hey. Sorry. But this guy’s schedule is full. With me. So kindly fuck off?”

The man is taller than Andrew, probably around the same age. But he shuts his mouth tight when he glances at Andrew. Andrew sees Neil’s eyes widening at Andrew. The man, kindly, steps aside, and fucks off.

“The drink…” is what Matt mutters, with a cup in his hand. He shrugs, and nods to Andrew. “Nice one, Minyard. That guy’s been bothering Neil since the first time he came here.”

Andrew looks at Neil for his confirmation. Neil says nothing but, “As usual, Andrew?”

“Yeah.” He opens his wallet. “Your shift ends as usual? I’ll pick you up.” He hands the money, and Neil immediately gives back the change.

“Yes.” Neil answers. Andrew nods, and puts the change in the tip jar. He notices Matt looking back and forth to Neil and Andrew, but Andrew pays no mind as he waits for his usual daily dose of sugar.

“Here you go, Minyard.” Matt says. Andrew nods, as he takes it.

Before he leaves, he hears Matt saying to Neil, “So, you and Minyard…? Finally…?”

Andrew takes a sip of his iced caramel latte with marshmallow.

*

The news travels faster than he ever imagines.

During class, he feels his phone buzzing, and when he checks, all of the notifications were from Nicky. He scrolls through the notifications and sees all the messages were in caps lock and one of them mentioned Neil’s name and the word “dating”. He locks his phone again.

*

It is not until he stops in front of Neil’s building, that Neil finally tells him.

“So apparently everyone’s thinking that we are… faking it.”

“Faking.” Andrew repeats. “I didn’t realize we’re doing this. So you’re only using me to keep people from hitting on you?”

“Hey, you kissed me first.” Neil replies. “You must’ve taken advantage of me.”

“Ah. Yes. It is I, taking advantage of you, when you said I must take the responsibility.”

Neil shakes his head and smiles. “So?”

“So what?”

“So what are we going to do now?”

“It seems pointless to explain. They will not trust us.”

“So you agree we are boyfriends now?”Neil says, and Andrew stares at him. He grins. Andrew wants to knock the toothy-grin out of his face, but not with his fist. He prefers doing it with his lips.

So he leans in close. That is enough to make Neil quiet, as Andrew watches him looking back at Andrew, at his eyes, then his lips, then moves back to his eyes. Andrew can’t keep his smile. “Yes or no?”

Neil licks his lips. “Yes.”

*

If Andrew can pinpoint where part of his life had led him into this… indescribable mess with Neil Josten, he will not say. Not because he doesn’t remember, but it’s because he doesn’t forget easily, as much as how he wants some parts of his past removed from his brain.

So he tries to think of something else; like how he and Neil had gravitated toward each other. 

_Gravitated_. That is cliche as hell, and Andrew doesn’t do cliche. 

But that is exactly what happened to them, whether it is good or bad, whether they have something nice to say or not. (Mostly they bicker.)

He and Kevin have known each other, have been in the same classes, have been partners. Then Neil became Kevin’s new roommate. The rest is history. History feels natural. Neil fits in easily. He doesn’t ask Andrew questions, until he sees how Andrew can be relaxed around him. He gives spaces, which is something rare for Andrew. Andrew’s life is full of people not knowing their boundaries. One time, he tells Neil about this.

It is not until at one point, during their weekly drinking in their favorite bar, to celebrate Neil’s first week of working in the coffeeshop, that Andrew looks at Neil and thinks, _Oh_.

Neil is pretty. It is not like he is unaware since the first day, because there is this small part of him in his brain, pointing a gun at his not-really-unaware other self, while his eyes zoom in at Neil; sober, only drinking soda at the bar, looking at the seat behind them and watching Kevin, Aaron, and Nicky sleeping. Andrew’s eyes certainly do not miss the way Neil’s looking back at him, blue eyes that are supposed to feel cold but they are warm toward him, as Neil’s lips curl up into a small smile. Andrew’s eyes zoom in on that, as his brain goes:

_Wait, Neil is pretty?_

_Always has been_.

Andrew has to remind himself he does not do cliche.

*

Andrew opens the door and finds his twin is already outside. He closes the door again.

But Aaron is as quick, much to Andrew’s despite. He slips his foot inside, and pushes the door. Andrew realizes sooner or later Aaron will find a way to “talk” to him, so he gives up and lets him inside. 

“So you and Josten…?” Aaron’s unspoken word is hanging in the air.

Andrew crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows at him.

“That guy’s an ass.”

“Well he has ass, I agree.”

Aaron groans and already seems regretting coming here and gives the Talk to Andrew. “Look. You and I don’t want to do this but I have to make sure.”

“Aaron,” Andrew says. “I never say anything about you and your heterosexuality. And the girls you’ve dated.”

“ _Girl!_ There is only _one_ girl!”

Andrew shrugs.

“It’s different…”

“What is _different_? My sexuality or my history of having casual flings or my childhood?”

Aaron shuts his mouth. He opens it again, then shuts it again as he squints at Andrew. “Okay. We’re not talking about this, but if anything happens to you, I’m gonna kick Josten’s ass. I don’t care if he gets ass, he’s an asshole.”

“I didn’t realize you lack such vocabulary.”

Aaron storms out of the room.

*

Aaron is not the only one worried. 

Well, most of Neil’s friends are, but it’s because Andrew is a little bit intimidating, and somehow Andrew lets it slip, casually, that he hides knives in his armbands. There’s also one in his sock but he only shows it to Neil.

_(“Why do you have so many knives on you?”_

_“Simplicity.”_

_“... Such as?”_

_“Opening packages. Threatening Kevin.”_

_“Understandable.”)_

So. Neil’s friends do not ask him directly. But they stare at him when Andrew comes into the coffeeshop, and orders something. They stare when Neil greets him. They also stare when Andrew asks if he could drop by at his place after work. They stare when Neil says yes.

Later on, they stare because they got the wrong idea.

“Minyard.” Dan starts. “What you did to Neil is very sweet and thoughtful and his friends, we could not thank you enough. But I have to ask: how long will this last?”

Andrew stares at her blankly. “How long will what last?”

Dan presses his lips into a thin line and stares back. “This whole fake relationship thing.”

Oh. So that’s what Neil meant when he said everyone thought they were faking it.

Andrew can only shake his head at her, and stands up when he spots Neil going out of the staff room. Neil looks at them and Andrew can hear his questioning voice, so he walks to him quickly.

“What did you and Dan talk about?” Neil asks when they’re in Andrew’s car.

“She asked how long would our fake relationship last.”

“So you agree we are in a relationship.”

“Not this again.”

Neil looks at him, as he reaches out, his fingers hover on Andrew’s cheek, close enough, but still not touching. He whispers, “What are you afraid of, Andrew?”

It takes Andrew a moment to reply, “I don’t know.”

“It’s not like I’m asking your hand in marriage.” Neil says. Then, “Maybe I will. Not today, though.”

“This is not forever.”

“I know it won’t.” Neil tells him. “But can’t we live in the moment?”

Andrew doesn’t answer.

Neil continues, “Do you still want to come in?”

He does.

*

_What are you afraid of, Andrew?_

That is not the first time someone had ever asked that of him.

Bee had, and at that time, he had struggled to put what he had felt into words. Not for the lack of vocabulary, but for the lack of virtue to say it out loud, to have someone heard it. He never answered Bee.

Now, he’s looking at sleeping Neil beside him. His laptop is still open in front of them, the movie has long finished, and Andrew never even once pays any attention to it since he realizes Neil has already dozed off on his shoulder.

Andrew wants. He wants so much it scares him. This is what he can never tell Neil. 

He slowly moves Neil’s head to lie him down. Neil stirs and opens his eyes. He mumbles Andrew’s name.

Andrew throws his blanket on him. “Sleep.” He says.

“You’re not leaving?” Neil asks, voice full of sleep and he’s closing his eyes.

Andrew stops. Maybe Neil has already gone back to sleep, but Andrew still wants to ask, “Do you want me to?”

Neil snuggles close to Andrew. “Mm. No. Stay.”

And Andrew does. If Neil asks him the next morning, if Kevin eyes them both with such wary in his eyes, it’s all on Neil.

*

They never bother him again. 

Neil says it’s the power of true love shown to prove everyone that they are indeed in love. Andrew says it’s such bullshit. Neil needs to stop pursuing him into watching Disney movies.

They spend time together, sometimes in Neil’s place, sometimes it’s in Andrew’s. Nicky wonders why they haven’t moved in yet.

It has been three months.

Yet Andrew still doesn’t know the answer.

*

Andrew wants so much, sometimes it scares him, at how easy Neil lowers his guard, at how relaxed and sound Neil is when he’s sleeping beside him, at how much trust Neil has given him.

“Andrew.” Neil calls his name, and Andrew’s eyes are back to him; to his blue eyes, to his red-bitten lips that Andrew has just grazed it with his teeth lightly, making Neil shiver in his arms. 

“Neil.” He says, pressing his lips to Neil’s temple. Neil trembles, slightly, and Andrew holds him tighter.

*

One day, Matt calls him.

Andrew squints at the name on his phone screen. _Matt Boyd._ He forgets when he ever saved Matt’s numbers. Then he recalls Neil sometimes uses his phone, because Neil is a sensible human being who can be trusted to keep his phone around.

He picks it up. “Hello?”

“Andrew…?” Matt’s voice sounds far. “Andrew. Listen to me. Neil — “

*

Andrew’s hands tremble from the sight of Neil, very much okay, except for the cast on his arm. He desperately wants to hold Neil close to him, to feel him, to make sure he is fine. 

(He is.)

(Still.)

Neil hasn’t seen him yet, but he can see Neil pointing his finger at someone Andrew cannot see. He takes a step closer, and he hears Neil saying, “You’re _not_ Andrew!”

“Yes, he is, Neil. Look at him! He’s Andrew.” 

“Noooo.” Neil whines. “That’s Aaron! I _always_ recognize Andrew.”

“Aww.” Andrew hears someone say. “Because you like him?”

“No! Because Andrew has _ass_ — “

“Alright. That’s it.” Andrew cuts him, as he stands in front of Neil. “I’m taking him home.” He looks down at Neil. “How the hell did you manage to break your arm.”

“Oh! It’s a very funny story.” Neil stands up and immediately almost falls down, if it were not for Andrew catching him. 

Andrew takes a deep breath. “Later, then.”

He nods to everyone around them, silently wonders how the hell _Aaron_ got caught up in this mess he has picked up. Andrew mutters a _thanks_ when they slip past Matt.

Neil throws his healthy arm around Andrew’s shoulder, his breath is warm on Andrew’s neck. “You’re so pretty, and you want to take me home?” He slurs, certainly high on morphine.

“Shut up, Josten.”

*

Later, when they’re in Andrew’s bed and Neil is already sleeping, Andrew watches.

_What are you afraid of, Andrew?_

Everything.

Andrew touches Neil’s cheek with his finger. It seems surreal, and he has to reach out, to make sure that Neil here is not his pipe dream. 

Neil stirs under his touch. “Andrew?”

“I’m here.”

“Mm. Good.” His hand reaches out blindly, and Andrew takes it. Neil settles in again, certainly already drifting back to sleep. He mumbles, “Stay.”

And Andrew does.

He is still afraid, scared of whatever will come next, but he will stay.


End file.
